Donald Trump reveals radical plan for a more powerful Air Force

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Trump has revealed a comprehensive plan for a new USAF, run by local private companies in individual states. He has promised to double or triple funding.

Donald Trump today released a statement mapping out his plan for a better-equipped and more powerful USAF. The plan was revealed at a convention of the Veterans of the Eagle Stars and Stripes in Kansas. 

“The United States Air Force used to be really, really great believe me and I’m going to make it amazing again. I was told by a good, good friend of mine who is a smart man- who knows everything about the air force- that it now has less fighters than Belgium – can you believe that? That is true- you can check that – believe me. The Chinese air force now has better fighters, more fighters, stealth fighters – which they stole from us by the way. And yet we’re giving away- selling our fighters to other countries? Oh boy.”

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A re-engined variant of the World War P-51 fighter would form the backbone of Trump’s proposed USAF fighter force.

“I want to make our USAF amazing- here’s how: I was watching RT the other day, and even a Russian TV station, a RUSSIAN TV station knows more than us. They know the F-35 is trash. I want to fire the F-35. I’m going to replace it with a Trump fighter- it’s faster, better-armed and cheaper than the very bad, very bad F-35- and what more it’s 100% American. The P-51 Mustang is the best fighter in the world- that’s what the best fighter pilots say – amazing men, great people- and does USAF listen to them, these great veterans? No. No. No. It’s just sad. I would listen to them – I would have 10,000 P-51 Mustangs, I would have 20,000 Mustangs. Hell of a fighter, hell of a fighter. I’m going to get the Mustang and give it the biggest, best engine in the world – the General Electric GE90- 100% US made. They don’t tell you this, the whiners, the Europeans, and those trying to take your money- but the GE90 is twice as powerful as the F-35’s very bad, very bad engine. You can check that – twice as powerful. So that’s fighters? Bombers – can we do better than the B-52 that is seventy years old and still in service? Can we do better than the B-1B that’s forty years old? The B-2 that is thirty years old? Right now, Russia has ‘Blackjack’ bombers in production, twice as fast as anything we have and newer. I say we buy 1000 of them. Get em’ in. Get em’ in. Get em’ in. We stick the GE90 in which is huge and amazing. This is a very, very good idea- a smart move.”11064328233_ee88b870f1_b.jpg

“Right now USAF is mostly sending aid to countries that don’t send aid to us- that seem fair to you? 100% of the countries you pay to drop food on – do not – REFUSE to do the same for us. Where was Ethiopia in Katrina? Yep- you’re right. Nowhere. Very true, very bad. Dozens of people tell me this and can’t believe it. Right now- the F-22, the best US fighter after the P-51- and this is true- I saw it on the Sputnik news agency- the F-22 is worse than the Chinese Su-35- and we are weak now. Right now VERY few, very few – maybe a HANDFUL of US aircraft can carry nukes- and every Soviet sub- which are invisible – could, and probably do, sail up the Hudson every day, carry many, many, many nukes. I promise a nuke on every American airplane, every airliner, every private jet – I’m ashamed to be STRONG? You afraid of that? I’m not – I think the world needs a strong, a very very great, America. Right now Obama wants to tell you we need to be weak and let Merkel, an unattractive woman in France, tell us what to do? And the Air Force now takes money from honest hardworking Americans – it’s practically Socialist- can you believe that? It doesn’t make a penny- it loses BILLIONS. TRILLIONS. I understand business and that is bad business. I would not keep it in the hands of idiots, bureaucrats and greedy Federal lawmakers- no way- that’s not right. I would let those who have proved they’re smart business people run it- give it to good guys, to good smart companies who know how to run things. Vote for me for a strong USAF”

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Diagram by Max.

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21 comments

  1. Tim Robinson

    Holy wow wtf… He’s the biggest rambling dolt in Aviation, in Politics and in general… Nukes on airliners?? P51 prop planes? Chinese SU35’s? F22 isn’t as good? He wants to buy Blackjacks??? Merkel is French!?

    Honestly I get that maybe it’s a gag but given the subjects ability to make reckless statements I have no issue believing it

  2. Max

    This is grand, I laughed my ass off. As it happens, I was also bored and got really intrigued about that crazy idea of putting a GE90 engine on a Mustang and started sketching. I think it’s awesome. Of course it couldn’t take off, but once in flight, it could fly either for a few minutes until the fuel runs out or a few seconds until the wings snap off. I mean, that’s something. http://i.imgur.com/UsY65m0.jpg

    • Stephen Chalmers

      Whatever you’re doing in RL Max, you’re wasting your time!! Marvellous 🙂
      I hope it’s on Twitter, Insta etc – if not let me know & it soon will be (with attribution of course!)

      • Max

        Feel free to do with it whatever you want, I scribbled it on the back of a statistics printout.^^

      • Stephench Chalmers

        As one does!
        Chi square, T Test??
        Cheers! I’ll link to the whole thing 🙂

  3. Ryan

    Hahah this was an awesome way to start the day. The sad part is it took up until the P-51 mustang comment to figure out that it was satire lol…… honestly at this point, after hearing the utter level of ignorance that spews from his mouth, almost nothing would suprise me. A perfect example of a similar type of comment that he ACUTUALLY said, (and was serious) came was when he gave a speech on Sept, 15 2015 onboard the main deck of USS IOWA(BB-61). He suggested that we need the 80 year old ship back in our fleet and hinted at the idea of refurbing and recomission it if he wins (that type of idea is almost equivalntly ridculous to this one). I dont know where the estimated 3 to 4 billion dollars that it would take to even begin such a monumental task of refurnishing and modernizing a ship that hasn’t been upgraded (currently a littoral muesem) since the early 80’s would come from, considering we would be busy funding and building a stupid 40 billion dollar wall.. SMH..

  4. schmitt trigger

    I say…let’s retire the B52, and bring back the Curtiss model H (flying boat).
    With a pair of GE-90s, of course.

  5. Tim

    My God….that was almost unreadable….now I know he write his own speeches….actually I’m speechless….God save America because it looks like no one else can….

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