The Producers tells the story of a theatrical producer and an accountant who want to produce a Broadway flop. They borrow outrageous amounts from investors, knowing that nobody ‘follows the money’ after a failure. Following this, they planned to abscond to Brazil as millionaires.

The plan went badly wrong when the show turned out to be a surprise hit. Despite a pro-nazi theme and a terrible cast, it succeeded. How did they get wrong so wrong? Lockheed Martin and the Pentagon would take no such risks …

It must be made to fail, mustn’t it? Here are the golden rules of making a fighter, they have been proven repeatedly over the last 90 years (with few exceptions):

1. Fighters must be fast and agile
2. Never plan any aircraft as ‘multi-role’
3. You can’t make a fighter out of a bomber
4. Never rely on one unproven technology as a lynchpin

Space limits me from listing the others…the F-35 has broken ALL of them.

Has the F-35 been schemed by a joker seeking to high-light the insanity of military procurement? Or maybe somewhere there are two men in Hawaiian shirts packing suitcases? Either way the F-35 is my favourite comedy.

Hush-kit is reminding the world of the beauty of flight.

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Jack Luttrell is a US defence analyst, he used to work for a major defence contractor