The Qatar Emiri Air Force (QUEEF) has grounded their new fleet of British-supplied Eurofighter Typhoons as initial inspections have revealed some latent homosexual tendencies in the multi-role fourth generation fighter aircraft. According to sources, “Though the aircraft are not completely gay, we do detect some signs that the airframes may have wanked a friend off in college.” This is potentially damaging to fleet availability as homosexuality is illegal in Qatar, with a punishment of up to seven years in prison and a fine (the death penalty is not ruled out).

The Air Force has yet to comment on the French-supplied Rafales, which are rumoured to be onnisexual, though are believed to operate in a culture of ‘Don’t Tell, Don’t Fly’.

Many have ridiculed the grounding, noting the extreme effectiveness of the Royal Netherlands Air Force’s Gay F-16 force.