As tha D-O-double-G (double G) folks often ask me if I know the most poppin’ aerial target tugs. Say what? Fo’ shizzle, I do. Light that chronic, dig out tha mary-Jane’s All tha World’s Bitchin’ Aircraft and prepare for 10 planes that want your fire.

It’s the Tea You Double G!

10. Vultee A-31 Vengeance

Have to mention this West Coast hero, California dreamin’ and schemin’ with Vengence. Startin’ life as a dive-bomber for France, had got a body that girls would die for.

9. Westland Lysander

Just say the word and his undercarriage spat out all over the curb. Shoot ’em up bang bang, yeah it’s a cold thang, the Lysander gotta high high wing. Love this fat-ass spat-wearin’ baller.

8. Boulton Paul Defiant

I swear, I feel like I’m ballin’, yeah I’m ballin’, yeah I’m ball turreting – but I ball so hard the motherfuckin’ ball turret fall off. It’s so easy to see, painted and pimped up like some player bumblebee.

7. Hawker Henley

Bring out the Hennessy for the Hawker Henley, this Merlin-ass bitch’ll tug you and thug you and say thank you for the fire you brung too. Too much of a pussy to be a light bomber – as a tug it had the disgrace to be replaced by the mos def turrent-compliant Defiant. The Henley was bullshit.

6. Ilyushin Il-28 Beagle

Dog-to-dog love for the Finnish touch, the Il-28 was much too much. Fly so regal, fly like a Beagle.

5. Miles M.25 Martinet 

Dr Dre’s favourite target tug, gonna whip you with my martinet. A martinet is a disciplinarian, so get your money, whip your hair, the Martinet is gonna be there. It was based on the Master, staying on an S to the M to the S&M tip. Whip your booty girl!

4. Douglas Skyraider

Poppin’, stoppin’, hoppin’ like a rabbit – tha Swedish Shiznit don’t need no gat to tug a target. This be troll-hatin’ all the way to Trollhättan.

3. Hawker Fury

Marzipan ain’t tha only shit straight outta Lübeck, rollin’ down tha air-strasses keepin’ it gangsta was this grimy limey.

2. Short Sturgeon TT.2

This is some Optimus Prime Transformer Beef, folds up like g’s. ‘Cause Snoop Dogg is trump tight like a virgin, tha Sturgeon. Tupac knew Tug life, and I know mo’.

1. F+W C-3605

Fo shizzle, it got to be tha Alpine anteater itself at tha top slot. Effin’ W, tha F, tha F & W. Holy like Swiss cheese, this neautral-ass muthafucker is 3 to tha 6 to tha 05. Bitches be lovin’ its long long nose poking right up their alpine p’ass. Based on tha Bf 109 originally, and painted up like some funky-ass fluorescent bumble-bee. That long-dong snout holding tha Lycomings-and-Lygoings-of tha T-mother-fuckin-53.