Do you wake up in the middle of the night screaming? Feel lost in life? Don’t really know who you are? It sounds like you don’t know which World War II fighter you are. Thankfully, we have teamed up with Professor Wichsflugzeug from the Institute of Psychoaeronautical Historical Research to bring you a 100% accurate personality test.

Simply answer each question and record your answers to reveal which WW2 fighter you really are…

1. What were you doing in 1969?

A. Fighting and killing

B. Nothing

C. Fighting, racing and being shot down

D. Regretting

E. I was a filmstar

F. Nothing, as I was burned in a field in 1941

2. Your retirement plan is:

A. Lazy days in Honduras

B. Becoming a suicide robot – and later attacking Indochina

C. Lazy days in the Dominican Republic 

D. Shooting down Spitfires while defending the Jewish state

E. Entertaining Brexiteers over fields in the home counties

F. To be burned in a field in 1941

3. How do you like to dress?

A. A dark blue tracksuit

B. Dark blue tracksuit …or a little orange number when there’s no-one around

C. Happiest naked

D. Crudely spray-painted and covered with offensive symbols

E. Camo jacket and duck egg blue leggings

F. Camo jacket and grey jeggings

4. How would you describe your physique?

A. Muscular and a bit odd

B. I’m a big butch beast

C. I’m sleek, sexy and shiny

D. Small and unremarkable

E. Slim, elegant and purposeful

F. Acceptable

5. Your name is…

A. Appropriate for a ship

B. Really cool (in a heavy metal kind of way)

C. Cool in a cheesy American way

D. More a designation than a name

E. Weird and archaic

F. So frequently mispronounced by English speakers I’ve given up and changed the spelling

6. How many pubs are named after you?

A. A fair few bars in France

B. One in New York and one in Belfast (both combined with another name)

C. A handful in eastern Europe

D. Zero

E. Fucking millions mate

F. Are you having a laugh? None.

7. What does God look like?

A. A fictional CIA director

B. A fictional racist police chief

C. Sherlock Holmes

D. An angry boss from a Carry On film

E. A sickly minor Royal from Downton Abbey

F. A chinless farmboy

THE ANSWERS ARE NOW BEING COMPUTED…READY?

Mostly As

You are a Vought F4U Corsair. Fast-talking, hard-punching and unconventional, you are a tough resultant soul who can survive anything.

Mostly Bs

You are a Grumman F6F Hellcat. No wonder people find you overwhelming, as you are a bit of a thug. You are capable of anything but need to tone down your aggression.

Mostly Cs

You are a North American P-51 Mustang. Attractive, high-achieving and spectacular you use your charisma and extraordinary skill to get what you want.

Mostly Ds

You are a Messerchmitt Bf 109. You have no moral compass and use your many strengths for evil. Despite the advantages life has given you, you are a fast-living amoral mess. You are hard to handle and difficult to be around.

Mostly Es

You are a Supermarine Spitfire. Gorgeous, formidable yet a trifle oversensitive, you are a distinguished and much-loved character. You need to work on your thin skin and expensive habits.

Mostly Fs

You are a Rogožarski IK-3. Often overlooked by the unsophisticated, you are the quiet interesting one in the corner and worthy of more attention.