Give me operations – Oscar Brand
Thanks to Bill Sweetman for introducing me to this remarkable song:
NO
don’t give me a P-38
the props, they counter-rotate
they’re scattered & sittin’
from Burma to Britain
don’t give me a P-38
NO
give me operations
way out on some lonely atoll
for I am too young to die
I just wanna grow old
& don’t give me a P-39
the engine is mounted behind
she’ll tumble & spin
& she’ll auger you in
don’t give me a P-39
NO
don’t give me a Peter 4-0
it’s a hell of an airplane, I know
she’s a ground looping bastard
& you’re sure to get plastered
don’t give me a Peter 4-0
NO
don’t give me an ’86-D
with rockets, radar & AB
she’s fast, I don’t care
she blows up in mid-air!
don’t give me an 86-D
NO
& don’t give me an F-84
she’s just a ground loving whore
she’ll whine & she’ll wheeze
& make straight for the trees
don’t give me an F-84
NO
(chorus)
NO
Hush-Kit 
Then you’ll probably enjoy…
Don’t give me an old Thunderbolt.
It gave many a pilot a jolt.
It looks like a jug and flies like a tug,
Don’t give me an old Thunderbolt.
NO… [etc]
Don’t give me a jet Shooting Star.
It’ll go, but not very far.
It’ll rumble and spout, but soon will flame out,
Don’t give me a jet Shooting Star.
NO…
Don’t give me a One-Double-Oh.
The bastard is ready to blow.
The AB is there, but you’re saying a prayer,
Don’t give me a One-Double-Oh.
NO…
Don’t give me McDonnell’s Voodoo.
There’s nothing that she will not do.
She’ll really pitch up,
she’ll make you throw up,
Don’t give me McDonnell’s Voodoo.
NO…
Don’t give me an F-102.
It never goes up when it’s blue.
An all weather coffin that flames out too often,
Don’t give me an F-102.
NO…
Don’t give me an F-104.
With blown boundary layer control.
One flap fails to blow and over she’ll go,
Don’t give me an F-104.
NO…
Don’t give me an F-105.
Because I love being alive.
She’s great for attack,
she soaks all the more flak,
Don’t give me an F-105.
NO…
Don’t give me a bent wing F-4.
With a crew of 20 or more
She’ll stall and she’ll pitch,
and spin flat as a bitch,
Don’t give me a bent wing F-4.
NO…
Cheers.
SIERRA HOTEL!
Very funny! FWIW, here’s my attempt at an RAF version of the lyrics:
Don’t give me a Harry jump jet
She’s never been stable yet
She turns and she burns
Right down in the ferns
Don’t give me a Harry jump jet
NO…
[CHORUS]
Give me operations
In the High Wycombe basement
For I
Am too young to die
I just want to grow old
Don’t give me an old Jaguar
The British Leyland sports car
Entente cordiale but le power est null
Don’t give me an old Jaguar
NO…
Don’t give me a grey ADV
The radar can lock on a flea
But the turning circle
Is the North Sea
Don’t give me a grey ADV
NO…
Don’t give me the green IDS
At zero metres or less
I’ll be subterranean up to my cranium
Don’t give me the green IDS
NO…
Don’t give me the fancy Typhoon
The software will be ready soon
One speck of rust
And the air force goes bust
Don’t give me the fancy Typhoon
NO…
Oscar Brand was a folk singer and activist who recently passed away aged 96. He still had a radio show in New York until recently. In the mid-60s he hosted a Canadian folk TV show called ‘Let’s Sing Out’. One of the regulars was a very young Joni Mitchell.